Advice column

Hie

I am a 30 year old married woman having problems with my husband. We have been married for the past eight years and we were blessed with two handsome boys. Every month we could afford to spoil ourselves and have extra cash for savings. We had a really great life before he lost his job.

Desperate

Life has never been the same.I am employed as a supervisor at a 24 hour food outlet. We survive on one salary and it is not enough to cater for all our family’s needs. Due to the situation at home, I sometimes work for extended hours so that I get an overtime allowance. I knock off so late that I get home when the children have long gone to bed.

My husband no longer trusts me as he thinks I am having an affair. My knock of time is not consistent, depends on the amount of work available for that day. I sometimes work double shifts especially during weekends, month ends and even the holidays as there are many customers during that period. I miss spending time with my family as I will be trying to make ends meet.

Recently there was a family gathering in the rural areas and they had to go without me as I had a busy schedule at work. My in-laws worsened the situation as they perceived that I was an arrogant wife who prioritized her job over family. I’m in a terrible situation in my marriage as my husband is considering divorce. Should I leave my job which is our only source of income?

Desperate

Advice

Dear desperate

I understand what you are going through and it is not easy to abandon your job over such issues. I would advise that you find time to sit and talk about this issue with your husband. You should take into consideration that you have children and the implications of the divorce on them. Also consider going for counseling, it will really help.

Matty

hello dear

I was once in a situation similar to yours. It was really painful knowing that l had to work during weekends and holidays and not being able to spend time with my children. l humbled myself and spoke to my husband until we reached and agreement, He understood my working environment and how it was contributing to the survival of the family. I encourage you to sacrifice the little time that you have when you are not at work, it is really helpful to the family. Divorce is not the solution to your problem.

Patie

Readers your views and suggestions concerning this issue are most welcome.  

NB: The names and images used in the story are not real.