Why people engage in domestic violence?

I'm 35 and I ask myself if this is the man I fell in love with. The man who I regarded as my best friend, the one who shared my joys and sorrows. I never imagined that he would turn out to be physically violent with me at any time.

Having been in a domestically violent relationship for far too long before I had the strength to get out of it, after having gone through therapy,I learnt many things I never imagined that I would live the life that my mother went through.

My parents' fights were very infrequent and the most was mom getting upset and leaving the house for a quick walk and then coming back kissing and making up. Domestic violence was new to me.

I never imagined being punched in the jaw ten years after our marriage? Never knew that until after I suffered from it. The abuse included physical abuse, verbal and emotional abuse on a daily basis. It is hard to not think you are the problem when every day you are told it is your fault; you are crazy, stupid, lazy, whatever.

What advice would you give to the newlyweds who can be at the mercy of these perpetrators?